Is It Even Worth It?

'Tough times don't last, people do'

No this isn't clickbait, it's a genuine question we have been asking ourselves over the last few weeks. Is this journey we're on really worth the enormous amounts of effort and additional stress that it's brought in to our lives? Don't get me wrong, it also brings with it, a tremendous amount of happiness but we have to sit back, 6 months in, and evaluate like any growth minded person would....

When we came up with the idea of This Messy Happy, on our holiday to see Ash and Josie in Florida, it came from a place of trying to find our way in a life that didn't quite pan out for us in the way we had envisaged.

We knew that we were unlikely to be parents but that we wanted to spread the love and happiness we had and leave some kind of legacy. As teachers we have a certain sphere of influence and it's immensely rewarding when you see a child respond to you and grow as a person, but it's limited to your school.

We wanted our legacy to be bigger. To have even more impact. So we started this journey

In truth, when we started we didn't really know where we were going with it all. We thought we'd write some blogs, do a bit of social media and see what happens. So we posted on Instagram every day, wrote a blog a week and started to see interest and growth.

By March we were up to around 1,000 followers on Instagram and the blogs were doing ok. Some better than others. Ups and downs. 

Between then we decided that we'd like to make videos and vlogs. Quite how, we didn't know yet but we bought a gopro and started practicing. We took it to Rome and made a Travel Vlog. It was all very amateur but it was also very exciting! 

We purchased some video editing software and committed to a weekly vlog as well as blogs. So now we we're putting out a daily instagram post, a weekly vlog and a weekly blog AAAAAND at the start of this holiday I decided (in my infinite wisdom) that a daily vlog for the holidays would be a great idea....

Over the last few months my life has been get up at 5am, train, go to work, come home and work on the vlog or blog, go to bed. I am exhausted. And stressed. So we need to evaluate all of this.

Why are we doing it to ourselves?

I have always said I lack talent, and I'm ok with that. What I do have is very long term tenacity. The type that saves for my 40th in Las Vegas by putting away £30 a month for 7 years. The type that starts Triathlon with a 5 year plan to get to where I need to be. The type that plans in years not days or months.

This process, it is about making a long term, profound and lasting impact on the world. That is what is driving us. The stress is hard. I'm always tired, always thinking, never switching off, but I have a passion in my soul and a purpose. It drives me. It drives us.

We only have 130 subscribers on YouTube, 192 likes on Facebook and 2,000 followers on Instagram, is the effort worth the cost?

This is the hardest bit. The small following. Obviously I don't expect overnight success or huge growth, I understand that this game is about longevity but when you're really passionate about a message, you want as many people to see it as possible. It's frustrating. 

But the positive of this is that everything we're doing is absolutely nothing to do with making money out of it.  That's not the reason we're doing this and will never be. So in that respect, we will never be disappointed if we don't get paid to do this. We already get paid doing what we love. So we're winning. And the following we do have is passionate, supportive, inspiring and humbles us every day.

So yes, we're extremely small fries. But if we keep plugging away, maybe sometimes people tell their friends to give us a follow. Some share our posts and like our vlogs and blogs. And who knows, we might just get out there.

Is it affecting our relationship?

I don't think it is but there are definitely pinch points. When the stress gets high. We have to remind ourselves why we're doing it. I do think maybe I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew with the daily vlogging. I'll have to se how it goes but I don't quit easily. 

If at any time we feel like our relationship is being compromised by the level of work we're both putting in to our jobs and this journey then we will do something about it. We won't be blind to it and try to plough on regardless. I do think the holiday coming up will be an amazing opportunity to relax and forget about it all and just spend time with each other,

So... is it all worth it?

Our following is small, the work is stressful and hard, the reward is intrinsic and the days are long but..... every now and then we get a comment, or text message or speak to someone who tells us just what these blogs or vlogs mean to them. That we've encouraged them to try new things, or just that we've made them happier by reading or watching. Some have said we mustn't stop as we have no idea how much it means to some people. And that, is enough for us. 

We may never have a big following. And we may not continue putting out content at this rate and amount, but when you get positive feedback from just one person every once in a while (not that this is why we do it), it makes it all worth it. And then some.

What's next?

For now I'll see how long I can take putting out daily content. We'll carry on with the vlogs and blogs. We'll try to grow our influence on social media. Our targets have always been 10k followers on Instagram, 5,000 likes on Facebook and 1,000 followers on YouTube.

So if you want to help us spread this message, like our facenboopk page if you don't already hell even tag some friends, follow us on Instagram and subscribe to our YouTube channel. Spread the word. Tell people you think would enjoy the journey and maybe even add value to us as well.

And I'll be trying to think of other ways to spread this message. But for now, I'm going to bed....